A true story about the honesty of people

Its' a long time since my last post. I hope this one will find someone despite of it.

It's a beautiful reminder about how honest people can be, and how much they can touch one's heart just by doing the right thing.

I was in Paris, France for an extended weekend. The trip that had started out swell took an ugly turn on Monday when somebody stole my handbag. Those bastards! I never saw the person who did it, but he/she sure had had the training since I never did notice anything else than that someone touched my jacket.

Anyway, one hour at the police station followed, as well as closing all my credit cards. In the bag (that used to belong to my grandmother) was my passport, drivers license, telephone, credit cards, keys - everything! Even my good luck charm!

I must admit I was a bit down the rest of the day and the following morning when it was time to leave for the airport.

Yesterday I got home and I filed a complaint at the insurance company.

Today I got to work - and found an e-mail from a kind and honest man, telling me he had found my bag and that probably everything was there but the money (10 euros!!).

He had been all around Paris to do what he could to save the situation: he had talked to the police, been to the embassy to find it closed, been to my hotel to find out I had left (I had an address to the hotel in my bag) and been to the embassy again to leave the bag there. Now they will send it to me within a few days.

Is this a miracle or what?

The honesty and good-will of this man strikes me! We have mailed a few times after that and I do feel he is the warmest of people.

I wish him all the best and lots of love.

He gave me the best gift one can give: belief in humanity.

Anxiety of knowing too much

Two days ago I enden my Facebook account. Yes, I know. How could I? Every self-respecting person should be there, share their joys and sorrows an take part of those of their extended group of friends. Right?
No. I object! I couldn't stand it. It became too much, I had to get out before I knew it had overtaken me. So I did.

What a relief! I no longer need to feel I have to like my friends' status updates. I no longer need to know, what half of the people I know had for breakfast, what their kids said last night, how much they wait for their vacations to begin, how amazing their weekend was. I was taken down by information overload. I had encountered the anxiety of knowing too much.

And what about the couple, who live their life via their mobile phones, instead of spending that time together, focusing on the moments they could share instead of sharing space with each other, but their minds with people online? When has it gone too far? Is it when they notice that they really don't need the person next to them anymore, the affirmation of their spouse, because they get more clicks liking their updates from people they went to school with 30 years ago, from the guy who is working at the gym they go to, from their co-worker's sister that they met once, a few years ago.

For me, watching people spending their time, living their life online instead of sharing it with their families, friends, became too much. I could no longer take it. They check in to their accounts and out of their lives. And that is how we are supposed to communicate! That is supposed to improve our social life!

I object. I declare this house a Facebook-free zone, where everybody entering has to check in to life and check out from craving affirmation from people they hardly know.

Losing (finding) oneself

I always knew it was possible to lose oneself in a relationship, work, family life. I just never thought it would happen to me.

It feels strange to notice that I don’t recognize myself anymore. I don’t recognize my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions. I’ve lost my creativity. I feel like a mere shadow of what I was before. It makes me sad. And I'm telling you; It is even more strange to feel sad when everything around you should make you happy!

And all there is to it is a new type of life taking over, changing habits, a change of people I surround myself with. Love. Family life.

So how do I find myself again? How do I get back to being me?

If I only knew. I guess I will try to take back some of what I lost. Change some of the habits back to what they were. Try to remember what it really was that made me who I am.

I guess being one’s true self is important. Because when self stops being, what is left is a shell in all its emptiness.

Catching the moment

Catching moments is easy. It is definitely something that improves the quality of life. One just needs to tune in. I caught a few moments during this week.

Rabbits playing in the field beneath my house.
Watching my love sleep at five in the morning.
Waking up to the sun rising 'cos I forgot to close the curtains the night before.
Watching a rabbit enjoy the sun this morning, just outside my window. He sat there, with his eyes closed, letting the sun warm every hair on his body. Enjoying life, I guess.

Go ahead. Go catch those moments. They are just waiting for you to notice them.

Returning to the surface

I admit. It has been a long time since my last post. I have been living some amazing months. Although amazing, it somehow has worn me out. I have been feeling tired and for some reason, it has felt like coming from within, rather than from the outside. Why I haven't reached for the surface, I don't know. Then I stumbled over a book that made me push upwards: Robin Sharma's The Monk who sold his Ferrari. I hardly had begun to read it before I noticed that it was all in my own hands. Why had I forgotten all about that? It's amazing how fast one can slip. Stray. I get up again. I decide to do my best and not slip again. I decide to return to my posts, to reflect over life and why it is important to live as well as we can.

I claim this house

Traces of somebody else
in my home.
Is she still here?
Am I sleeping
in her bed?
Drinking
from her glass?
Was that perfume you gave me
Hers?

It is strange
how somebody so vividly can
Stay.
Go.
Go away.
I claim this house.
I claim my home.

Poem of the day

Yes, I saw them sail.
Ships that came into the harbour and left again.
Becoming smaller and smaller
as they reached for the sinking sun.
In some ways, they left me feeling empty.
In others, I felt filled with hope.
As I saw them lift their anchors
I felt free.
I wished it could have been me.

The key to interaction

Many things we can overcome with love, with compassion, with understanding. Often we need to push our own ego aside to make things work. When did people get so big egos anyway? Sometimes, I admit, the ego helps us on the way. It pushes us forward when we need to go the extra mile for something we really want. It helps us achieve things. That is alright, that is great. But when it comes to people, the ego should be put aside. That's when we should add a big portion of love, compassion and understanding and mix them well. That is, I believe, the key to interaction.

Charades are for the theater, let's leave the play on the scene

I went to a great seminar today. It gave me much more than I had expected and in a totally different way.

It was all about being who you are in a world of charades. When everybody else is playing something they are not, the way to stand out is to be one's true self.

I buy it. I believe it.

It was also about helping others be who they truly are. By helping others, even those you compete with, will make you stronger and greater. In a way it is a very humane way of thinking.

It was all about the business world. A traditionally cold world. The thought of being able to soften it - and for it to be allowed - triggers me in some way. I do not believe in the coldness of any world, including the business one. Charades are for the theater, let's leave the play on the scene.

So how about it? Are we brave enough to be ourselves, even in the harsh world of business life? Are we certain enough to leave our masks behind? After all, take a look around you. A soft spot in the boardroom could stand out in a positive way.

We modify life as we live it

It is all in the will to grow, right? Obstacles will show their face and life will hit us, some harder than others. What is the true meaning of life, if not doing ones best to evolve, grow, learn? The path that is behind us has its impact on the one ahead, but it does not define it. With every step taken there is a chance to choose the direction of where we want life to take us. We modify life as we live it. Trace the path of the past and choose where you want it to lead. It is truly in our hands.

What happened between now and then

I never knew it could be this easy
And I still struggle with believing
As I rest my head on your arm
and watch you slowly wake up
You turn your head and open your eyes
I watch them light up
and I watch you smile.

What happened between now and then
I cannot say.
Suddenly so many things seem light years away.
Suddenly it is all right. The pieces have fallen into their place.
The pain is gone and as I try to remember how it made me feel - I can't.
It is gone, gone, gone. (And I feel, you will never let it return.)

All the love I carry within, it has had to make room for more of it.
A great space is filled by my love for you. I never knew.
Easy. Yes, that is the word for it.
When it feels it always was and it always will be.
When my head rests on your arm as it always would have.
When I feel I know your smile from ages ago.

Did we walk this path before? Were you always by my side?

It surely cannot be about winning Trivial Pursuit

I have started seeing things clearly again. I feel I again have entered some kind of state that allows me to see what's behind the corner. I like it, it feels good. At the same time it's disturbing. What am I supposed to do with that skill?

It has started again like it often does. I suddenly see things in front of me, even though they are about to happen. Or I see what's written on the next page before turning it. It does come quite handy, it allows me to win Trivial Pursuit. However. That cannot be the reason behind it.

I guess many of us would like to be able to say, this is what I'm supposed to do with my life, this is the skill set I was given and that is the reason for it. But it oftentimes is not that simple. I'd like to believe that it is enough to do one's best, to be a good fellow human-being, a good friend, a mother, a father, a sister or brother. A kind neighbor, a friendly co-worker. But the thought leaves me feeling a bit empty. What about these skills that turn up every now and then? It surely cannot be about winning Trivial Pursuit.

Only by closing our eyes

Isn't it strange
How pieces fall into their place
When everything else is falling
apart.
You feel safe
(I never knew I wanted that)
as I wrap myself around you
warming you
as much as myself.
Isn't it strange
How things suddenly feel so right?
(I dreamed of you last night)
You make me believe
that we often get what we need
Instead of what we thought we wanted.
I never knew about wanting you
And that is the point, I believe.
Sometimes we are better off
just by letting life take its course.
Only by closing our eyes
life will teach us how to see.

Happiness

Love
(Yes, it is easy.)
Autumn leaves
(Why is it colour makes me smile?)
My new sofa
(Green and soft. Beautiful. Perfect for lazy Sundays.)
A nice cup of espresso when it's still dark outside
(Yes, and I don't even care for the company, me and my coffee will be enough.)
Friends
(I love you all.)
Memories
(Many of them connected with love. No wonder they make me happy.)
Music
(It fills me up and it puts me in motion.)
A sudden text message from someone I love
(Isn't that the nicest little sign saying "I just thought of you for no particular reason".)
Poetry
(There is so much magic in poetry. Reading it, writing it. A poets heart is the happiest when suffering.)
Warm socks when it's cold outside
(It makes me feel loved, isn't that strange?)
Silence falling between us
(I know. It just feels so beautiful sometimes. All the things our minds and hearts can fill those gaps with? Souls speaking to each other while no-one says a word.)
making room for more memories
Travelling
(Opening mind and heart for new experiences, it is equal to love for life.)
Strangers
(Yes, they are the same. It is wonderful to fall in love, for mere seconds, with the people passing in the streets.)
Laughter
(Yes. Laugh again.)
A warm paw on my face
(Love at its best, unconditionally.)
Dancing
(For letting my soul run free!)
Movement
(Yes. Don't stop.)
Smiles
(By anyone. It is magic.)
Waking up next to you
(I guess it has to do with love, but also with sharing. Almost like being let in on a secret. Watching you sleep for a while,)
Rain
(Beautiful.)
Waves
(Making me dream.)
Photographs
(Memories.)

(So many things, small in themselves, growing bigger, though. It all leads back to love. Love for people, life, you. Faith in tomorrow. Anticipation. Not knowing.)

Music

So much great music right now out there. Yesterday I got myself a nice dose of a mixture of ambiance-jazz-rap. I'm telling you, works like medicine for any given state of mind.

I have passed the junction and now i feel someone pushed the fast-forward. Sometimes it takes years for the lock to open, but when it does, change may come in one night.

For me it all started in June when I changed jobs. Suddenly everything that had been at a standstill for years opened up and started twirling me around. I just let go and was pushed forward by the flow of life. It happens, you know. And all it takes is some faith and courage to once in a while raise your hands and say: Take me where you want me to go.

Here's Redrama with one of his excellent works of art, Music.

I find myself at a junction

I'm usually the one who falls asleep the second I rest my head on the pillow. This week I have tossed and turned two nights. Why? I'm not sure. I just know that the thoughts in my mind won't stop shooting around like there would be a bunch of bees in there between my ears. I hope tonight will be better.

I guess I am at a point where things are at a standstill just before everything goes off and an explosion changes everything. I can feel it. I just need to stay where I am and see, whether it tips over to one side or the other. I won't move, I won't hardly even breath. I guess that is why my mind can't find peace, as I find myself at a junction.

It's strange how we so often sense these things. I approach the situation with the same mentality as very often in other situations, I take a step back, look at the view and go with the flow. I believe firmly that when we let go, when we close our eyes and let go, that's when destiny grabs hold of us and pushes us in the direction we are supposed to move. It might bring joy, it might bring suffering, but it also will be one of the turns we were supposed to take, and later on we will see it all as clearly as ever, it all made sense.

Well if we're lucky, that is. Mickey, a taxi driver I talked to in Thailand a couple of years ago, had the best recipe for how to deal with life. "We cannot know what life will bring us, we can only try to do good things, and good things will come back to us."

Say it. I'm listening.

I never forgot
How could I have?
They all stayed. All those things that were there. They still are.
A lot of waves have rolled in
A lot of me has rolled out to the sea
A lot of you.
Still it is all there. Me. You.

It was never nothing.
Instead it always was something. Something able to shake. Move.
Yes. A lot has changed and so have we.
All it ever took was the ability to see
That things - even though different - were unchanged
That the difference between then and now
Could be uttered in a word.
Say it. I'm listening.

Sometimes it all is so clear. When everything is in place it might be hard to believe. That nothing is missing.
Things are moving. And sometimes the world around us seems to move faster than we are. Should we hurry? Should we wait? Will the moment pass? Will it be out of place? Will it be too late?
Life won't wait but hearts will. Love will. You'll see.

It takes a brave man to jump. It takes a bold woman to fall. Well we don't need no parachutes.

Setting goals

This fall I have seen a few goals be reached. Wow. It's almost like I had thought they never would? Now I am standing here with two empty hands, hands yelling "Fill us up, give us something new!".

One of the goals I reached was one that I have been carrying inside me for as long as I can remember. I finished and sent a manuscript to a publishing house. In many ways, it was a partial goal that I reached, since that in no way means I will get it published. But still it felt like raising a child and seeing it move on, seeing it start its on life. Now I'm waiting to see, what kind of a life that child will manage to create for itself.

It is important to have goals and it is, I believe, what makes us go further, what makes us make them happen. So I often write them in my calendar or diary. I choose a date and I say "by this time I will have finished or done this and that". They don't need to be huge things, I for example cannot write a book twice a year, but smaller things as well, things that will make us happy. My goals for this year were to book myself a vacation - which I did, and Vietnam gave me all I wished for and beyond - to find myself a new job - and here I am, loving every day because I get to wake up and go to the office where I have found myself truly happy - to finish my manuscript for the book. Things happen when we write them down. That's when the spin is created.

And a side-note:
My calendar is the Courage one by Paulo Coelho. Today I read a passage from it, saying that "Yesterday's pain is the warrior's strength", that is from the Manual of Warrior of light. Yes, isn't that a great thought? I love that thought as it states that all of as can be strong by letting ourselves be fortified by the pain we've felt.

Lots of love and strength to all of you, let's make things happen!

when I start checking the boxes

This summer I've been realizing things. A season of realization. I've felt moments of clarity, when my own actions and the reasons behind them suddenly have been truly clear to me. It's always strange to notice, how one can trick oneself into things, with totally different premises than one would think. But it does good to see those things. It helps one to learn about oneself.

I've also noticed something this summer. I've noticed that the more things we make happen ourselves, the faster the things around us will move. When waiting for things to happen, they never do, that is something we all can agree on, right? When deciding for ourselves that we won't sit and wait, life will start catching speed around us. I feel like being inside a whirlwind right now. And it is moving faster and faster. I've started it. I pushed the button myself by deciding I won't wait. Life can be at a standstill and boring, I don't care, because I'm in motion.

What do I need to be happy? Love, friends, family and a passion for what I do. Love - well yes I do love, so that is enough, isn't it? As long as I keep blowing love into life I will be happy. Come love back at me or not. Friends - so many of them and as many of them so close to my heart. It makes me so happy to see them joyful, content. I am lucky when it comes to the people in my life. I feel I hit the jackpot. Somebody must be smiling at me from above. Family - yes, please let it stay safe and happy. Having them close to the heart helps when they are far away. Passion. That is as easy as love. It is what makes me get up in the morning and it is what makes me feel strong and capable. Because when there is a flow of passion it is all clear. No questions to be answered, no uncertainties. I follow the line that my heart has already painted. Easy.

Here I am. Happy and content. And when I start checking the boxes, there is not much that has happened around me, but within me. And with all the energy oozing through my skin, through my mouth, from my fingers - I feel love has guided me again. I feel I can't go wrong as long as I have it filling my heart, lighting my soul.

Do you have a destination?

Destination:
1. the predetermined end of a journey or voyage

2. the ultimate end or purpose for which something is created or a person is destined
(The Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia)

A few days ago I was making my way out from a train station, a long way from where I am now.
When I was about to cross the road outside the station building, I was stopped by an old man.

"Do you have a destination?" he asked me.
I wasn't sure what he meant. I was AT my destination, leaving the train station, not entering it.
"Excuse me?" I said.
"Do you have a destination?" the man said again.
"I'm sorry, i don't know what you mean." I didn't, and I walked away.
It hit me later on. Maybe he asked me about my destination in life, maybe it was only me who immediately connected the question to the travel I had done. And it left me thinking. Did I have a destination? Do I?

I'm not sure. I want to live my life trying to be as a good of a person as possible. I share my love that is often over-flowing, I try to be kind, just, helpful. And I kind of have always thought these things will in the end, give me a good life and a happy one. That I will feel fulfilled. So what do I need a destination for? Maybe I do. Maybe that was the point.