I find myself at a junction

I'm usually the one who falls asleep the second I rest my head on the pillow. This week I have tossed and turned two nights. Why? I'm not sure. I just know that the thoughts in my mind won't stop shooting around like there would be a bunch of bees in there between my ears. I hope tonight will be better.

I guess I am at a point where things are at a standstill just before everything goes off and an explosion changes everything. I can feel it. I just need to stay where I am and see, whether it tips over to one side or the other. I won't move, I won't hardly even breath. I guess that is why my mind can't find peace, as I find myself at a junction.

It's strange how we so often sense these things. I approach the situation with the same mentality as very often in other situations, I take a step back, look at the view and go with the flow. I believe firmly that when we let go, when we close our eyes and let go, that's when destiny grabs hold of us and pushes us in the direction we are supposed to move. It might bring joy, it might bring suffering, but it also will be one of the turns we were supposed to take, and later on we will see it all as clearly as ever, it all made sense.

Well if we're lucky, that is. Mickey, a taxi driver I talked to in Thailand a couple of years ago, had the best recipe for how to deal with life. "We cannot know what life will bring us, we can only try to do good things, and good things will come back to us."