Monday, June 27, 2011

Losing (finding) oneself

I always knew it was possible to lose oneself in a relationship, work, family life. I just never thought it would happen to me.

It feels strange to notice that I don’t recognize myself anymore. I don’t recognize my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions. I’ve lost my creativity. I feel like a mere shadow of what I was before. It makes me sad. And I'm telling you; It is even more strange to feel sad when everything around you should make you happy!

And all there is to it is a new type of life taking over, changing habits, a change of people I surround myself with. Love. Family life.

So how do I find myself again? How do I get back to being me?

If I only knew. I guess I will try to take back some of what I lost. Change some of the habits back to what they were. Try to remember what it really was that made me who I am.

I guess being one’s true self is important. Because when self stops being, what is left is a shell in all its emptiness.