Resolutions

A new year is knocking on the door again - how did that come to happen so soon?

As always I reach out for the new year
as a child waiting for Christmas.
Full of anticipation,
anxious to see what's to come.
I want to close my eyes and do no peeking
but I am too curious to succeed.
Oh if I only could
be shown a glance of what is ahead!
Just a few moments of what is hiding
behind the curtains of 2010!
A new year and new resolutions.
Those I am glad to make.
Not to take the chance to grow would be stupid,
since making progress is one step on the way.
So I hereby solemnly declare
that next year will be one of love.
I will overspend, I will give all that I have
And maybe get some coming back again.
I will do my all to be kind
To set example for the best of my own.
I will try to be humble in front of life,
I will laugh from my heart and cry from my soul.
I will stay open to what life has to give
and constantly give of myself.
In return I will not ask for anything
but gladly take what's offered instead.
Good or bad, joy or sorrow,
for this I know -
it'll all be a chance to grow.


Best of luck for the coming year - keep loving in 2010!

He felt his blood rushing in his veins

He watched her raise her eyebrow at some random guy passing their table. She gave him a vague smile as she lifted the cigarette to her lips.
- Do you have to flirt with everybody? He regretted his question as soon as it had made its way over his lips.
- Why do you care? she asked.
A fair question. Why did he care, really. She was not his girlfriend, never would she probably be. That time was long gone.
- I don't know. I just don't like it.
- You should know me better. She sounded tired. - Flirting is what comes naturally for me. It's like a hobby. I kinda like it.
Yes, that he knew. He kinda had liked it as well when they first met. He still remembered how he had reacted to her smile that night. She kept turning half way towards him, playing with the straw from her drink, watching him like it would be against the law, carefully, so that no-one noticed, just him. Oh my God! He remembered the blood rushing in his veins! And he hated the thought of her making someone else feel the same! She had no right.

- Somebody could call you a slut for flirting with everyone passing by. Again he regretted his words as they came out. Why couldn't he just shut up?
He saw her eyes turn black. She was mad.
She looked at him, first without saying a word. Inhaling the smoke and slowly blowing it straight into his face she replied without any anger in her voice.
- I have slept with two men in my life. At 32 years you could hardly call that being a slut. She put out the cigarette and picked up her bag from the floor.
- Both men whom I loved, even though I sometimes struggle with knowing why.
He saw tears in her eyes. He had once again managed to make her sad. Without the intention. He just felt so hurt inside! It still hurt him that he'd lost her. It still hurt him that she now seemed to be too far away to ever come back.

He saw her walk away from the table and leaving the restaurant. He had failed to say goodbye. He had failed to say anything right.
Why? Why did he continuously push her away when everything he wanted was to put his arms around her and hold her close? He had no idea, Even his theraphist had suggested he didn't even want her back, that he was clinging to her for some other reason.
Of course not! That was a stupid thought to begin with!
He let his head fall into his hands and sighed. Calling her a slut! That was like offering peace, wasn't it? What an imbecile he was!

- Is this taken?
He heard a silent voice and as he lifted his gaze he saw a hand resting on the back of the chair next to him.
- Please, go ahead, it's not taken. He saw the red, polished nails and a hint of sweet perfume found its way to his nostrils. What was that scent? Sweet, yet so spicy ... His eyes started to climb the hand and the arm it was attached to. Red silk, so soft. The chin, the lips - red as well - the pointy nose, a set of blue eyes that looked like small lakes, sparkling from the moonlight.
She smiled and tilted her head a bit, just enough to set free a dark brown curl from her ponytail.

He felt his blood rushing in his veins.

Angels in my hair

I started reading a book yesterday that I hardly have been able to put down since. It's too bad one has to go to work, otherwise I would have stayed up reading the whole night. I didn't even get as far as taking my coat off before already having it in my hand, reading, reacting. Within the first 10 pages I had already laughed and cried. So what is it, you say? Lorna Byrne's Angels in my hair.

Lorna says all she knows she has been told by the angels. I don't know whether I have had angels whispering to me, because many things are like reflections of my own soul and of how it has been developing during the past three years. So many things in the book I have felt - and it makes me feel I'm on the right path.

It is about love, it is full of soul. It is about reason and purpose. It is about loss. It is about having a gift.

Anyone who reads this book will discover that they are not alone, that there is always someone there by their side, to help them no matter what difficulties they are in. They will discover that they are loved unconditionally. Lorna Byrne

Frequently things we consider disasters – losing a job, a marriage break-up, failing an exam - are in fact miracles in disguise and years later when people look back at them, they can identify that this was a major turning point in their lives. Lorna Byrne on When things are tough.

Not such a bad thing, if you ask me. I'll leave you now. I'll have to get back to the book.

Human touch

The touch of his hand lingers on my back
It reminds me.
Of hands seeking their way
Of fingers clinging
Of human touch.
For the first time I feel the lack of it
making me feel alone.
For the first time I notice there is a hunger for it
And I know it won't be gone
Before someone that is for real
touches me out of
love, lust or despair.