Love flowing in

I spread my arms and turn my chest towards the light.
Oh, I never thought I would feel this -
Love flowing in.
I bare my soul to the sun
Knowing - this is when it happens
Love flowing in.

What did I do to deserve this?
That I don't know.
Who is that love coming from -
I'm not sure.

Still I let it flow -
Why stand in the way?
One day, I'm sure, it'll all be clear
My love will start flowing
In the same way.

Ready for fall?

Yes, there's magic in this fall

Of course it might be, that I'll fall flat on my face. But I'm ready to take the risk.

I have said it for a while now - I feel there are positive changes to come this fall. Or at least surprises, waiting around the next corner, or the one after that. I feel that I am in a good place right now. I feel I am supposed to be in this place, at this moment, right now.

I know. I have been dancing tonight. For a few hours, and that usually creeps under my skin. It makes me feel happy, it makes me want more of it. So maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Time will tell. For the moment, though, I feel content. And that is, if you ask me, already an achievement.

Tonight calls for some Pablo Neruda.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdida.

Good night y'all.

It took only a few seconds for my barriers to break

The hour is late and I should be on my way to work in about seven hours. I still feel I need to put down my thoughts right now instead of just going to bed. I just came home after experiencing something that touched my soul deeply.

Only 15 minutes ago I stood on the sidewalk in the first storm of this fall, talking to a person that I really don't know that well. Yes, it's a person I've seen during a couple of years, but never actually spoken to. I mean really spoken to. Now I did.

It was a rare moment. Two people, one of them asking very clear questions. It took only a few seconds for my barriers to break. I opened myself to a person that straight on asked for it. At first I tried to avoid it. Why, I now ask myself afterwards. Why should I not open up to a soul that clearly is pure, to a heart that clearly is filled with love? I am now glad I eventually did. And what I got in return was a full view of this soul. Beautiful, fragile. I felt touched. Touched for having had the opportunity to be stopped, to be taken to the side. I would have walked past this otherwise. It makes me think - maybe there are a lot of things I have walked past without ever knowing.

See, I have a way of being cheerful and lively. It is who I am, but now I think it might keep some people away from me. Back to the point. I tonight saw a heart that was full of honest love and pain. How lucky am I to get to share this, I thought. That another person will take the time to break my barriers of joyfulness just to be able to open up to me. I feel blessed. I saw a soul that was much in the same place I was in a couple of years ago. Agonized by the mess that we call life, not sure which way to go, how to follow the right path. I finally saw the moment I have so clearly been approaching. My mouth opened and all the realizations I've had, all the thoughts that have been shaped, all the truths that I have found in my own heart - they all came out. It was like a waterfall, it couldn't be stopped. In the end, I felt like crying. My feelings were so close to the skin that just a touch would have broken my last barrier down.

Yes, it was true what I got told - I was talking to myself. All those words of wisdom were pointed at myself. I had just been waiting for the right person to come by, one that would ask for them. And maybe, hopefully, I had an effect on this person as well. Maybe I added something, healed something, or maybe opened up some path.

Now. What is left? Emptiness, because I won't need those words anymore, yet a newfound strength that I knew was in me, but that I didn't know how to release.
I'm not sure who to thank for tonight. But I sure am thankful for being pulled to the side.

We all have people in our lives that are there for a reason. Sometimes they are not that apparent. Open your eyes and look around. It might be the next person that looks into your eyes.

Poem of the day

I said it yesterday and I felt it go straight to my head as soon as all the letters, one after another, had formed a sentence.
Am I lucky or what? (Are you?) To be living my passion. To be breathing, dreaming and being my passion. I believe this body was born to dance. And I am more than happy to have been given - yes given - a dance partner that will pull the best out of me. I cannot wait for Sunday and the new class. Let's see what we can come up with. You know, I always wanted to be a good dancer, and guess what? I really think I'm getting there. It can't be bad when it allows every cell of your body to stretch out in some kind of mental high. OK, it is not perfect yet, but that is not what's important. What is important is that this is what makes me feel alive, this is what makes me feel in love with life, this is what makes my soul blossom. This is how I'd like to be portrayed. As the one who dances from the soul. I never thought that would make me so happy, and here I am, dancing three times a week.

Isn't that enough for a happy existence? I believe it is.

And then, to the poem.
It is quite some time since the last one. It's because I have a heart that is neither broken nor sore. Sad but true, that is a fact that stops the flow. I'll give it a try anyway.

They now seem sweet
All those memories
Yet once they tore me into pieces
Now --
I don't know. Is it me? Have I grown? Have I evolved?
Or --
I just can't stop myself from wondering
every now and then
Whether things actually just did nothing less
but followed the path.
Yours and mine.
And sometimes I just can't do anything but -
I'm thinking
Whether we would have found ourselves
apart
shattered
broken
If things had ended like we wanted to
Instead of how we needed to.
I can't keep myself from asking
Whether my love for you would have
Stayed
or
Died
--
[Yes, it might be the wine, but how can we be sure? True feelings they come out eventually. Maybe they were just waiting for the bottle to be opened?]

It stayed and that should be our pride!
We kept the passion, the friendship.
We kept the music and the lazy mornings.
We kept the honesty and the warmth.
- And I'll be by your side forever!
- And you'll push me forward on my path!
[And the joy will stay as long as we are prepared to give.]

Yes, seeing the aftermath
It is quite clear.

The line was drawn beforehand, the steps were there
for you and me.