Sometimes I need to remind myself

It isn't always going fine. That is how life is, right? Sometimes I find myself struggling with reality, with the fact that there are aspects to my life that are in such a messy state. At times like those I need to remind myself about breathing in love and breathing out unease.

Unease. A word that describes me quite well at times. Restlessness. A feeling of needing to know the point at which I will feel ease. That scarcely happens, does it, for people like me? Instead I feel en even greater unease out of thinking that the people I surround me with are so at ease, so harmonious, so in control.

Yes, I'd like to feel in control at some point. Feel that my life is in my hands. I can already hear some say "of course it is". Well, I guess that's easy to say. I feel it's quite hard to realize. At a sunny beach far away from my current place of being someone told me "We all are where we are in life because we have put us there ourselves." That is a naive way of looking at life, I'd say. Yes, at times we can make the decisions ourselves, about turning left or right. At times, though, other people's actions put the waves in motion, and those waves might push us over or put our lives in motion as well. And our waves will have the same effect on somebody else's life. No man is an island. If you believe you always can stand firmly on your two feet without being affected by other people's choices and actions - you are living in denial.

I am no island. And at this point I am being caught in a restless sea. As I see it, my choice is a matter of how to react on the unease this time. I choose to try to obtain an optimistic outlook on life. At some point I believe, life will show us what the great turning points were all about. Until then we will just need to have faith.