Say it. I'm listening.

I never forgot
How could I have?
They all stayed. All those things that were there. They still are.
A lot of waves have rolled in
A lot of me has rolled out to the sea
A lot of you.
Still it is all there. Me. You.

It was never nothing.
Instead it always was something. Something able to shake. Move.
Yes. A lot has changed and so have we.
All it ever took was the ability to see
That things - even though different - were unchanged
That the difference between then and now
Could be uttered in a word.
Say it. I'm listening.

Sometimes it all is so clear. When everything is in place it might be hard to believe. That nothing is missing.
Things are moving. And sometimes the world around us seems to move faster than we are. Should we hurry? Should we wait? Will the moment pass? Will it be out of place? Will it be too late?
Life won't wait but hearts will. Love will. You'll see.

It takes a brave man to jump. It takes a bold woman to fall. Well we don't need no parachutes.

Setting goals

This fall I have seen a few goals be reached. Wow. It's almost like I had thought they never would? Now I am standing here with two empty hands, hands yelling "Fill us up, give us something new!".

One of the goals I reached was one that I have been carrying inside me for as long as I can remember. I finished and sent a manuscript to a publishing house. In many ways, it was a partial goal that I reached, since that in no way means I will get it published. But still it felt like raising a child and seeing it move on, seeing it start its on life. Now I'm waiting to see, what kind of a life that child will manage to create for itself.

It is important to have goals and it is, I believe, what makes us go further, what makes us make them happen. So I often write them in my calendar or diary. I choose a date and I say "by this time I will have finished or done this and that". They don't need to be huge things, I for example cannot write a book twice a year, but smaller things as well, things that will make us happy. My goals for this year were to book myself a vacation - which I did, and Vietnam gave me all I wished for and beyond - to find myself a new job - and here I am, loving every day because I get to wake up and go to the office where I have found myself truly happy - to finish my manuscript for the book. Things happen when we write them down. That's when the spin is created.

And a side-note:
My calendar is the Courage one by Paulo Coelho. Today I read a passage from it, saying that "Yesterday's pain is the warrior's strength", that is from the Manual of Warrior of light. Yes, isn't that a great thought? I love that thought as it states that all of as can be strong by letting ourselves be fortified by the pain we've felt.

Lots of love and strength to all of you, let's make things happen!

when I start checking the boxes

This summer I've been realizing things. A season of realization. I've felt moments of clarity, when my own actions and the reasons behind them suddenly have been truly clear to me. It's always strange to notice, how one can trick oneself into things, with totally different premises than one would think. But it does good to see those things. It helps one to learn about oneself.

I've also noticed something this summer. I've noticed that the more things we make happen ourselves, the faster the things around us will move. When waiting for things to happen, they never do, that is something we all can agree on, right? When deciding for ourselves that we won't sit and wait, life will start catching speed around us. I feel like being inside a whirlwind right now. And it is moving faster and faster. I've started it. I pushed the button myself by deciding I won't wait. Life can be at a standstill and boring, I don't care, because I'm in motion.

What do I need to be happy? Love, friends, family and a passion for what I do. Love - well yes I do love, so that is enough, isn't it? As long as I keep blowing love into life I will be happy. Come love back at me or not. Friends - so many of them and as many of them so close to my heart. It makes me so happy to see them joyful, content. I am lucky when it comes to the people in my life. I feel I hit the jackpot. Somebody must be smiling at me from above. Family - yes, please let it stay safe and happy. Having them close to the heart helps when they are far away. Passion. That is as easy as love. It is what makes me get up in the morning and it is what makes me feel strong and capable. Because when there is a flow of passion it is all clear. No questions to be answered, no uncertainties. I follow the line that my heart has already painted. Easy.

Here I am. Happy and content. And when I start checking the boxes, there is not much that has happened around me, but within me. And with all the energy oozing through my skin, through my mouth, from my fingers - I feel love has guided me again. I feel I can't go wrong as long as I have it filling my heart, lighting my soul.

Do you have a destination?

Destination:
1. the predetermined end of a journey or voyage

2. the ultimate end or purpose for which something is created or a person is destined
(The Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia)

A few days ago I was making my way out from a train station, a long way from where I am now.
When I was about to cross the road outside the station building, I was stopped by an old man.

"Do you have a destination?" he asked me.
I wasn't sure what he meant. I was AT my destination, leaving the train station, not entering it.
"Excuse me?" I said.
"Do you have a destination?" the man said again.
"I'm sorry, i don't know what you mean." I didn't, and I walked away.
It hit me later on. Maybe he asked me about my destination in life, maybe it was only me who immediately connected the question to the travel I had done. And it left me thinking. Did I have a destination? Do I?

I'm not sure. I want to live my life trying to be as a good of a person as possible. I share my love that is often over-flowing, I try to be kind, just, helpful. And I kind of have always thought these things will in the end, give me a good life and a happy one. That I will feel fulfilled. So what do I need a destination for? Maybe I do. Maybe that was the point.

Everything is illuminated

Always when in Italy, I am put against the same problem: Which books to buy, when luggage is limited and there are billions of great, cheap books all around you. Italians know how to set the price for a book. I am like a kid in a candystore when in Italy. All over the place there are bookstores and bookstores and bookstores, filled with the most marvelous treasures!

Today I left one of those stores with two books in my hand. I had, as very often these past days, spent the morning shopping around in one of them. The burning sun outside wasn't enough for me to leave the freshness of the store and it's many-coloured "lecca leccas" (lollipops) - books that is. Very pleased with my purchases I felt the Italian version of Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is illuminated and as well the Italian version of Paulo Coelho's The Pilgrimage (O diário de um mago) burning in my hands. Ogni cosa è Illuminato and Il cammino di Santiago.

The first one I had to get - it is, by far, one of the best books ever written and not a second will be wasted when reading it, instead, it will open your soul and it will let the magic find its way inside. The second one I have, oddly enough, never read. But as I got the special edition of the book, the covers will match the calendars of 2009 and 2010 as well as the book "Love" with graphics by Catalina Estrada. (Please have a look at Catalina's website, showing her beautiful style.)

Yes, it was a good day.

Pics of the day

The best thing with being on a vacation is that the level of inspiration always goes up. Here are some pics from yesterday.

No good with faces

Jack --
Do you remember when all magic required, was to suddenly hear you sing on the radio?
I always felt so blessed, even knowing,
that I could have picked up the album from the pile on my stereo
and listened to those same songs.
Any time.
I always found a song to go
with my mood swings, rising up, going down.
There were you. Singing those words that I needed you to.
Jack --
Something happened and it left me
gasping for air for a few moments.
Maybe you grew up, or maybe it was me.
Maybe we both did?
Or maybe you moving on
to more ordinary things
didn't match my mood swings.
No more.
And as I turned up the volume
to better grasp your lyrics
I was left in what felt like a silly space
between then and now.
I felt the magic return
I felt the magic return
No good with faces and I'm bad with names.
One single line could have done it for me, but it continued,
leading me further down the road
that we walked so many times
contemplating life.
Jack --
Let's not be afraid of our reflections.
I knew you would return, if not for long,
then even for the length of one song.