I still lean on you

Merry Christmas. It's already an hour into Christmas eve, I look forward to sleeping in this morning. Today my note is blue, despite a family dinner at my very own dinner table. With all gathered around it, even those who were not supposed to make it. Why the note is blue, that is a mystery to me. I guess some layers inside of my soul were touched by something I can't put my finger on.

A strong sense of self
That is what I feel tonight.
A sense of importance
of standing on my own two feet.
Because also strong connections sometimes will fail
and leave us leaning onto what we are. In ourselves.
It is strange how I still do
see thoughts and feelings grow from you.
Even though the detachment is done
and I know it's something I've overcome.
I still lean on you.
Knowing you have your ways
of picking me up, letting me down,
but always - always - helping me stand tall,
lifting me up when ever I fall.

I still lean on you.
Even though I know, I'd stand tall without you.
Even though.
I never could have known
a person like you would walk into my life.
To build up what I am.
To tear down what I was afraid of.

Building, My strong sense of self.