Touch me

Touch me
With your words,

with your thoughts

Yeah, you know where

Let that light of yours

Shine through me [I'll let out my darkness]

Pierce my skin

Yeah, just let it bleed

Go on [I'm ready]

Go on [I won't hold you to it]

Go on [...]

There are cells

In my body

Just waiting to hear

your next word

I will enjoy

every letter of it.

"Of course I could do without it, she said, letting her gaze focus on something distant. But why would I? Why would I not treat myself with having my blood rush through me, heating me up from the inside? Having my stomache turn in pure anticipation? If nothing else, he will be good for my blood circulation."

The beginning was like all love affairs are

Istanbul - What would be the right way to describe that city?

Arriving after dark I got the urge to walk those narrow streets, winding their way upwards. Not even the rain could turn the excitement off - instead it lured me into a love affair that would last for seven days and seven nights.

The beginning was like all love affairs are: Wild and exciting, promising, mysterious. I admired all that for me was new - my appetite seemed endless.

Like all love affairs that start off being wild and exciting, promising and mysterious, also this one came to its end. After five days and five nights it started to dawn on me: what attracted med like a cat to a bowl of cream was the feeling of having found something different, a jewel that glimmered in a different way than the other ones, reflecting its shine in my eyes.

The end was bitter, like in all love affairs that end after only seven days and seven nights of heat. Yet no hard feelings were left to linger. I knew it was because of the fact that we were too different, from two different worlds, strange to each other. And as Istanbul was a stranger to me, was I a stranger to Istanbul.

Despair

The rope is in my hand and the other end strangles the neck I placed it around. That was after I'd lifted it off mine. Killing for saving one's own life. Right or Wrong? Are we to save our own life or are we to give it away to save somebody else's?

Despair is the word and the root of today's confusion. Is it a beginning of change or only a phase of death?

Let's make the day bright and bring in the sun. (Who can take all this despair?)
Let it shine on our cold feet and begin a change from the inside.
Breath in the warmth of every ray that hits the thin hairs on our skin.
Feel the warm breeze push every single cell back and forth, making movements like waves in the ocean.
Go with the flow, don't hold back. Have a smile on your face. It suits you.

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes.
That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
Oscar Wilde

That day

Allow me to dream
To reach for blue skies
To close my eyes and return
to that day --

That day I heard my heart sing
I remember a sense of pride
surrounding me
And it gave my words a rhythm
it brought colour to the black and whiteness
of my life
I still feel the warmth inside me
it isn't as strong anymore
but it still reminds me
of that day --

That day I understood the meaning
of life often so senseless
I saw the thread going through it all
finding its way
to that day --

I couldn't believe
I felt the scent of myself
on your shirt
And for that
I loved you even more
And for that - that day
I loved myself

I've been breaking hearts

Hearts of glass have lately turned into pieces from the touch of my careless hands.
The first one of glass broke simultaneously with mine (of flesh), as I broke somebody elses.
The glue I tried to fix the glass with, held the pieces together
as badly as it would have fixed a heart of flesh and blood.
Yesterday I broke yet another one.
Again by sheer carelessness.

Falling in love with the city

I noticed something yesterday: I live in a beautiful city.
I usually notice that in summer, when you can see the water surround the whole city, when you can stroll along the waterline, no matter where you are going.

But yesterday, as I took a walk through some areas where I haven't been for a while, I fell in love with the city, all over again.

Maybe it was the magic game played by reflections of the snow and man made lights - maybe it was the winter sky that made me feel on my knees. I don't know. I was amazed by the rhythm of the buildings - old and new - of lights and shadows. It was like being let in on a secret, like peeping through a keyhole, seeing things that nobody else knows. But me and the magic forces of night.

It is not every day one gets to be romantic when it comes to a city that has been one's home for a lifetime.

Let me seduce you with this tango

Music of today:

Gotan Project's Lunático.

It was hidden between other Latin American rhythms.

I let it seduce me all over again.
It surely was a long time since the last time.
Not even trying to resist,
letting the tunes of the always so sensual accordian
climb me.
Taking a steady grip of my body.
Teasing me until I am begging for it
not to let go.
Letting all of its passion flow into me.
Until I feel my blood boil
from the same heat.

That's Lunático.